Revisiting the book, Gift From the Sea, Ms. Lindbergh refers to it as "solitude". And she says we are frightened by it. "How one hates to think of oneself as alone. How one avoids it. It seems to imply rejection or unpopularity...We seem so frightened today of being alone that we never let it happen. Even if family, friends, and movies should fail, there is still the radio or television to fill up the void." "...we choke the space with continuous music, chatter, and companionship to which we do not even listen."
A line from a familiar song comes to mind~
in the secret
in the quiet place
in the stillness
You are there
From page 44, she writes "For it is not physical solitude that actually separates one from other men, not physical isolation, but spiritual isolation. It is not the desert island nor the stony wilderness that cuts you from the people you love. It is the wilderness in the mind, the desert wastes in the heart through which one wanders lost and a stranger. When one is a stranger to oneself then one is estranged from others too. If one is out of touch with oneself, then one cannot touch others."
I've grown to understand personally what she means by this. I've longed for quiet, sound-less-ness but never gave in to its call, instead hearing voices that tell me I'm selfish for wanting to be alone, I'm not taking care of my responsibilities as mother and wife if I chose to sit and read my bible for 15 minutes rather than fold another load of laundry.
This is not a call to selfishness or even self-preservation. It's about taking, better yet, making time for self-renewal. To stop long enough to take a breath, to stop serving others and refuel yourself. Jesus gives us this example in Matthew 14:22 "And after He had sent the multitudes away, He went up to the mountain by Himself to pray; and when it was evening, He was there alone."
We, as women, need to have our cup refilled so that it can spill out on to others. We cannot get or give nourishment from an empty cup. Christ wants to fill our cup to overflowing but He can't if he's chasing after us with His pitcher because we won't sit still. Have you ever tried to pour juice in a cup held by a wiggling toddler? Most of it ends up on the counter or floor. We must stop awhile and allow God to pour His spirit into our hearts.
Here's how the author explains it. "She wants perpetually to spill herself away. All her instinct as a woman~the eternal nourisher of children, of men, of society~demands that she give. Her time, her energy, her creativeness drain out in the channels if there is any chance, any leak. Traditionally, we are taught, and instinctively we long, to give where it is needed~and immediately. Eternally, woman spills herself away in driblets to the thirsty, seldom being allowed the time, the quiet, the peace, to let the pitcher fill up to the brim."
But why?
"...mothers and housewives are the only workers who do not have regular time off...apparently not considering occasional time to themselves as a justified need...If women were convinced that a day off or an hour of solitude was a reasonable ambition, they would find a way of attaining it...as it is, they feel so unjustified in their demand that they rarely make the attempt." "If one sets aside time for a business appointment, a trip to the hairdresser, a social engagement, or a shopping expedition, that time is accepted as inviolable. But if one says: I cannot come because that is my hour to be alone, one is considered rude, egotistical or strange. What a commentary on our civilization, when being alone is considered suspect; when one has to apologize for it, make excuses, hide the fact that one practices it~like a secret vice!...but women need solitude in order to find again the true essence of themselves;"
The door opens...hubby bursts in with hands to my shoulders ,a quick kiss to my cheek and after being alone an almost too loud, "How was your day, honey?"
The silence is broken but my cup runneth over.
in the secret
in the quiet place
in the stillness
You are there
From page 44, she writes "For it is not physical solitude that actually separates one from other men, not physical isolation, but spiritual isolation. It is not the desert island nor the stony wilderness that cuts you from the people you love. It is the wilderness in the mind, the desert wastes in the heart through which one wanders lost and a stranger. When one is a stranger to oneself then one is estranged from others too. If one is out of touch with oneself, then one cannot touch others."I've grown to understand personally what she means by this. I've longed for quiet, sound-less-ness but never gave in to its call, instead hearing voices that tell me I'm selfish for wanting to be alone, I'm not taking care of my responsibilities as mother and wife if I chose to sit and read my bible for 15 minutes rather than fold another load of laundry.
This is not a call to selfishness or even self-preservation. It's about taking, better yet, making time for self-renewal. To stop long enough to take a breath, to stop serving others and refuel yourself. Jesus gives us this example in Matthew 14:22 "And after He had sent the multitudes away, He went up to the mountain by Himself to pray; and when it was evening, He was there alone."
We, as women, need to have our cup refilled so that it can spill out on to others. We cannot get or give nourishment from an empty cup. Christ wants to fill our cup to overflowing but He can't if he's chasing after us with His pitcher because we won't sit still. Have you ever tried to pour juice in a cup held by a wiggling toddler? Most of it ends up on the counter or floor. We must stop awhile and allow God to pour His spirit into our hearts.
Here's how the author explains it. "She wants perpetually to spill herself away. All her instinct as a woman~the eternal nourisher of children, of men, of society~demands that she give. Her time, her energy, her creativeness drain out in the channels if there is any chance, any leak. Traditionally, we are taught, and instinctively we long, to give where it is needed~and immediately. Eternally, woman spills herself away in driblets to the thirsty, seldom being allowed the time, the quiet, the peace, to let the pitcher fill up to the brim."
But why?
"...mothers and housewives are the only workers who do not have regular time off...apparently not considering occasional time to themselves as a justified need...If women were convinced that a day off or an hour of solitude was a reasonable ambition, they would find a way of attaining it...as it is, they feel so unjustified in their demand that they rarely make the attempt." "If one sets aside time for a business appointment, a trip to the hairdresser, a social engagement, or a shopping expedition, that time is accepted as inviolable. But if one says: I cannot come because that is my hour to be alone, one is considered rude, egotistical or strange. What a commentary on our civilization, when being alone is considered suspect; when one has to apologize for it, make excuses, hide the fact that one practices it~like a secret vice!...but women need solitude in order to find again the true essence of themselves;"
We need it to reconnect with our loving Father whose pitcher is full and wants nothing more than to sit with us and fill our cups. The idea here is not to drop everything and sit contemplatively while the world revolves around us and we no longer contribute to its function. We need to learn "to still the soul in the midst of its activities...
to be the still axis within the revolving wheel of relationships, obligations, and activities." 
The door opens...hubby bursts in with hands to my shoulders ,a quick kiss to my cheek and after being alone an almost too loud, "How was your day, honey?"
The silence is broken but my cup runneth over.
