Letting go............again, and again.

Many years ago, when my husband and I were taking in foster children, God taught me a great lesson in trusting Him with our children. Whether biological, adoptive, or foster, ALL children are HIS, and He entrusts us to care for His children with an open hand always ready to give them back to Him. He asked me to trust Him and let them go.

The toddler, pre-teen, and teenage years flew by. Next was college, jobs, and mission trips to foreign lands................I trusted God and let them go. 

And then, all at once, it happened........ 

My oldest son chose a wife-

My second son joined the Nat'l Guard-

And my baby girl turned 18 and swore into The Marines-

I didn't realize it but my grip was tightening. This mama bird still wanted to keep those chicks  tucked in the nest. Safe. Under my wing. In my sight. Fear was choking my joy. My body was physically reacting to this paralyzing fear of abandonment. 

Who am I? Where is my value? What now?

But God knows our pain and our struggles and was doing a work in my heart. He brought godly women into my life and I began to see God again in His Holiness. A renewed awe of His character and of how much He loves us (His children). His redemptive work on the cross and our position in Christ brought a sense of peace. I began to believe again that I have worth apart from my label as mom because Christ gave His life for me, and therefore, imparted great value to me. I believe again that I am deeply loved, fully pleasing, totally forgiven, accepted, and COMPLETE in Christ. These truths bring freedom and joy instead of bondage. 

His letting go lesson culminated with a weekend ladies retreat. My heart was soft, pliable, ready to receive from the Lord. Our speaker, Irma Pressley, spoke about Jochebed, Moses' mother, and how she had to release her child Moses, not once but three times.  

• At three months, she put Moses in a basket and placed him in the Nile River letting him go. Exodus 2:3
• After nursing him, she brought him to Pharoah's daughter. Again, letting him go.     Ex 2:10
• As a murderer, Moses fled Pharoah's presence into the wilderness. His mother had to let him go a final time. We have no more mention of Jochebed in Scripture so we don't know if she ever saw her son again. 

Just like Jochebed, we mothers won't always foresee God's purpose in letting go of our children but we can TRUST that His plan is best and for ultimate good. Romans 8:28 And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose. 

As a remembrance, my retreat roommate (or bunk buddy, as I called her all weekend) and I plan to weave a reed basket to keep in our homes as a visual reminder of God's promise that our children are beloved of God and that He is our El Roi- Our God Who Sees and we can entrust them to Him once more.  

My hands, again, are open wide, letting go, ready to watch them soar!